


12:31

by courtts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9574439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtts/pseuds/courtts
Summary: Only one person shows up to watch the stars with Oikawa on the last day of training camp. For a single minute, Oikawa allows himself to pretend that it means something more than it really does.





	

Oikawa picks up the last volleyball from the basket he had pulled out half an hour earlier. The gym is silent, his teammates having settled in for the night quite a while ago. He looks across the net, pinpointing a spot at the far side of the gym towards the service line. He takes a deep breath, then tosses the ball up, jumps, and snaps it right to the spot he had fixed his eyes on just moments earlier. When the ball comes to rest, Oikawa lightly pumps his fist, satisfied with the final serve of the final practice session of his final training camp.

If he wants to, he could go for another round of practice serves. But unlike three years ago, he knows when enough is enough. He picks up the volleyballs scattered on the other side of the net, puts them back in the basket, and wheels them to the equipment closet. He shuts off the lights, locks the gymnasium door, and calls it a night.

Once outside, Oikawa pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks at the time: 11:45. He glances up at the sky. If the weather reports are accurate, the looming clouds overhead should clear up in the next half hour, leaving nothing but the moon, stars, and the occasional airplane to fill the night sky.

He walks back to the school building and comes back to a classroom full of sleeping players. The futons evenly distributed throughout the room are occupied by his dedicated teammates, who spiked, jumped, and ran across the court with everything they'd had until the very end. Hanamaki is sprawled across his futon, limbs tangled in his bedsheets. Yahaba is curled up into a ball, smearing drool all over his pillow. Kunimi is lightly snoring. Only one futon remains empty, perfectly made from the day before: his own.

He didn't expect anyone to join him tonight for stargazing, despite the incessant invitations he put forth all day long. Especially not after a grueling day of training camp. But a small part of him wanted to give his teammates the experience he never had as an underclassman. Even if it was just once, he would have liked to bond with his team--his entire team--without any pretense of volleyball, to enjoy their company for the sake of enjoying their own company.

Oikawa shakes his head and smiles; he figures it can't be helped. The team put forth their best effort for all three days of camp, and that's all he really could wish from them. He walks over to his untouched futon, grabs his jacket lying on top of his bag, and laces up his shoes. When he leaves the room, he shuts off the lights and slowly closes the door, twisting the knob to ensure it doesn't click.

He walks across the hall to the other room of players to check for any stragglers as a courtesy before heading out. He hears every footstep he makes echo through the empty hallway. As he approaches, the light shining through the crack of other room's door disappears. Oikawa stops in his tracks, turning his feet towards the exit of the building. But then the door opens, silently without a creak.

Oikawa knows who is on the other side, but it doesn't stop his heart from forming knots in his chest.

Iwaizumi emerges, eyes dark and weary. He's wearing his Seijoh tracksuit, wrinkled from the day's activities, and his dirty white sneakers. He quietly shuts the door before looking up at Oikawa ungrudgingly.

"You said midnight, right?" he asks.

Oikawa puts on a practiced smile and tilts his head. "Your comprehension skills are sharp as ever, Iwa-chan," he replies.

Iwaizumi gives Oikawa a weak punch on the arm as he walks past him, eyes trained on the exit. Oikawa follows from behind, wishing Iwaizumi's eyes were fixed elsewhere instead.

\---

Oikawa originally planned to watch the stars with his team at the top of the large hill behind the Aobajousai gymnasium. It's high up, easy to get to, and large enough to accommodate the entire team, had they decided to join him tonight. But with only Iwaizumi and him there, it feels like an inappropriate spot; it feels impersonal.

When Iwaizumi starts heading to their original destination, Oikawa tentatively grabs his wrist, pulling him in the opposite direction.

"I changed my mind," he says. The artificial grin makes its way back onto his face. "Let's go somewhere a little more interesting."

"You know what time it is, right?" Iwaizumi says, mouth scrunching into a frown. But he doesn't say a word when Oikawa drags him towards the school gates, continuing to walk by his side long after the grip on his wrist is released.

Oikawa takes Iwaizumi outside the school, then down the street for several blocks. It's dark, the only source of light coming from the streetlamps at every intersection. The roads are deserted; he can't hear the revving motors of the cars and buses that drive past their school every morning and evening. He doesn't see any businessmen bustling down the sidewalk rushing to work, parents dropping their young children off at school, or retirees out on their daily strolls. There are no schoolgirls waiting by the bus stop, batting their eyelashes and smiling coyly when he passes by.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi have made this walk many times over the years, starting from different places but always ending up at the same destination. They've gone during the summers of their childhoods, popsicles and bug nets in hand, clothes sticking to their skin. They've gone in the winter when the wind makes their toes numb and the tips of their ears sting, and in the spring when they can smell the faint scent of cherry blossoms falling from the trees above. In this weird transition period that marks the month of September, the weather is unusually mild, and it gives Oikawa nothing to focus his senses on.

Then again, he doesn't need anything to focus on when the only person who matters is already by his side.

After a few minutes, they reach the entrance of their city's scenic lookout. From the base, it's about a fifteen minute walk to the peak, up a winding path of stairs that are steeper than they should be. The path up doesn't seem very strenuous, but the top of the lookout is higher up than that hill behind Aobajousai could ever be. Oikawa hopes the view from the summit will be enough to justify his spontaneous decision to trek to a new location.

Iwaizumi stops short of the first stair on the path. "Wow, I haven't been here in a while," he remarks.

"Five years to be exact," Oikawa says, eyes running up the length of the stairs to the top.

The last time Iwaizumi visited the city's lookout was in the winter of their first year of middle school. He took one last glance at the night sky, then turned to Oikawa and asked if they were too old to be doing this. Oikawa nodded his head because that's what friends were supposed to do. He looked to the sky a final time himself before Iwaizumi dragged him back down to the base of the hill.

Oikawa hasn't climbed up those steps since then. Not with his nephew, whose eyes would surely widen with awe after viewing the city below, nor with any past girlfriends who would use the opportunity to steal a kiss underneath the moonlight. Not even by himself, when no one would know otherwise.

He looks to Iwaizumi who is staring at the path, hands in his pocket, with an expression he can't read. Oikawa feels insecure when he knows he has no reason to be. He adds, "Not that I'm keeping count or anything."

Iwaizumi doesn't return his gaze. He remains silent for a moment more, then asks, "Should we go up?"

Oikawa suspects it's not a request because Iwaizumi begins to ascend the stairs before he has the chance to reply.

The path to the top of the lookout is much less enchanting than how Oikawa perceived it his childhood. What he used to see as a never-ending trail leading to the sky is now a steep, but ordinary set of stairs. Overgrown shrubs and half-dead tree branches stick out from the walls surrounding either side of the path. But even though it's much shorter than what Oikawa remembers, it seems like an eternity to reach the summit. Each stair feels like two, especially after a day of nonstop conditioning, drills, and practice matches. Oikawa's eyes grow heavier as he makes his way up the path, legs aching with every step. He hums along to a nonsensical song in a vain attempt to hide his exhaustion.

Oikawa makes another step and feels his knee buckle from underneath him. In a split second, he's falling to the ground instead of climbing further up the path. He braces himself for impact with the concrete.

Steady arms stop Oikawa before he strikes the ground. He slowly looks up, and Iwaizumi is staring right back at him, eyes locked on his. Oikawa's heart lurches.

"You're overworking yourself again," Iwaizumi chides. Oikawa can see bags underneath his eyes.

"Speak for yourself, Iwa-chan," Oikawa replies, as if he didn't nearly hit the ground himself.

"I mean it," Iwaizumi says. He slowly lowers Oikawa to the ground, then extends a hand to help him get back on his own two feet. Iwaizumi's hand is cold, but Oikawa's burns at the touch. When Iwaizumi releases his hand from Oikawa's, it feels like it happened entirely too soon.

Oikawa brushes Iwaizumi off with a wave of the hand, ignoring the tingling he still feels on the tips of his fingers. Iwaizumi lets out a grunt of disapproval before the subject is dropped and they continue up the stairs as before.

When Oikawa and Iwaizumi pass the final step, Iwaizumi lets out a quiet "whoa." The top of the lookout is pitch black, but the sky is illuminated by not just the moon, but what must be hundreds of white, blue, and yellow stars scattered across the horizon. Some are bright, some are dim, but all of them are twinkling against the backdrop of the night. Since it's past midnight, almost all of the city lights are shut off. It makes the stars glow even brighter and brings even the faintest of them out of hiding. Not even the faintest trace of a cloud can be seen in the sky, leaving nothing but the celestial bodies in view.

While Iwaizumi's eyes are fixed on the scene overhead, Oikawa's attention is focused elsewhere. Iwaizumi doesn't give off any light like the stars above, but he shines just as brightly, his features illuminated by a faint blue light. In the darkness, Oikawa can make out the outline of every spike in Iwaizumi's hair, the broad width of his shoulders, the curve of his back. His eyes linger on the slight part of Iwaizumi's lips as he gazes at the sky in wonder.

He looks away before Iwaizumi can catch him, and leads him to a small patch of grass so they can watch the stars lying down. It's partially so he can rest his feet, partially so he won't catch himself staring at things he shouldn't be staring at.

Iwaizumi plops down on the grass and stretches before folding his hands on his chest, extending his legs in front of him. Oikawa sits beside him, propping his elbows behind him and craning his head to the sky, away from the boy lying just inches from him.

They sit in silence for a minute before Iwaizumi speaks up. "Aren't you going to tell me about them?" he asks.

Oikawa doesn't need to ask if Iwaizumi is referring to the constellations that can be formed by the many stars in the sky. Not when Iwaizumi's spent countless nights on the rooftop of Oikawa's house, listening to him read from his astronomy guidebook, nodding his head absent-mindedly when Oikawa knows he's only pretending to pay attention.

"It's not like you'll listen," Oikawa says, keeping his gaze on the stars.

Iwaizumi snorts. "You know me too well."

He turns his attention back to the night sky, repositioning himself, and Oikawa joins him. The sky is the same as when they first started gazing up at it when they were kids, back when they were Tooru and Hajime instead of Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Polaris remains the brightest star in the sky, still helping lost souls find their way home, even centuries later. He can still see Orion chasing after his next prey, just as he did when he viewed him through his first telescope years ago. If he looks to the west, he can still see Cassiopeia looking down on her subjects from her astral throne.

Oikawa finds comfort in knowing that no matter what happens in his life, the stars will always stay fixed right where they are now. Just as they remained put in the past, they will stay constant in the future. When he and Iwaizumi go off to separate universities, potentially hundreds of miles away, he knows that if he looks into the sky, Iwaizumi will be looking at the same stars he's viewing in this moment. When he and Iwaizumi finally decide the directions they want to take their lives in, they'll still have the same stars to guide them down the right paths, even if they're not the same. And years from now, when Iwaizumi has a lover and a family to call his own, he and Oikawa will always have these memories to connect them.

Oikawa glances at Iwaizumi with the corner of his eye, catching a glimpse of the hands folded across his chest. Instinctively, he reaches his own hand towards Iwaizumi's, desperate to actually hold it instead of merely wishing it.

At the last minute, he closes his fist, withdrawing his hand back towards his own body.

"Hey, Iwa-chan," he says abruptly, willing away the thoughts of the action he just tried to pull, "Thanks for coming out. It means a lot to me."

This time, Oikawa turns his head to look at Iwaizumi directly. But instead of a smile, a snort, or even a scowl, he's greeted with no expression at all. Iwaizumi's eyes are shut, his hands are still, and if Oikawa concentrates, he can see his chest slowly rise up, then down. He's turned on his side, supporting his head with his hands so he can sleep on the ground in comfort.

Oikawa's eyes soften; he smiles lightly. And in a lapse of judgment, he scoots next to Iwaizumi, gently picks up his head, and places it in his own lap. Iwaizumi stirs for a brief moment before snuggling into Oikawa's lap, drifting back into slumber. Oikawa prays that Iwaizumi doesn't wake up, even if only for a split second.

He glances at Iwaizumi's face. His normally gruff expression is replaced with one that's peaceful, one that's unguarded and honest. Oikawa wonders if Iwaizumi would still show that same expression to him if he knew about the feelings Oikawa shouldn't be harboring towards him.

When Iwaizumi wakes up, he and Oikawa will return to camp as the same people when they left: teammates, friends, and partners. Oikawa will still be the talented setter and captain of the Aobajousai Volleyball Club, putting on his frivolous act around both strangers and friends, only showing his true colors on the court. Iwaizumi will remain the grumpy and supportive ace and vice-captain who keeps the rest of the team--and especially Oikawa--grounded and out of trouble. They'll give each other the unwavering support they deserve from one another, but not the love Oikawa wants between each other.

But in this moment, with only the stars as witnesses, Oikawa allows himself to pretend that the two of them are something more than they are now. He pretends that Iwaizumi is resting his head in his lap on his own accord, that he wishes they could be even closer to one another than they already are. He pretends that Iwaizumi feels electricity running through the tips of his fingers when he wraps his hand in his, squeezing it longer and tighter than he should. He pretends that Iwaizumi wishes they'd never have to walk back down to the city and resume their designated lives, just as he's wishing now.

And in the middle of his daydream that will never come to fruition, Oikawa utters the words he'll never have to courage to tell to Iwaizumi's face.

"I'm in love with you," he whispers.

Iwaizumi would never have to find out his best friend said those words at 12:31 in the morning on the final day of their final training camp. And if Oikawa convinces himself hard enough, he can pretend it never happened either.

Oikawa gives Iwaizumi's hand one last squeeze, fingers intertwined, prepared to hide his feelings towards Iwaizumi once more. He releases his grip from Iwaizumi, then furiously runs his fingers through Iwaizumi's hair, making sure to mess up every single spike.

He puts on his signature grin, a practice smile at first, then the real deal when Iwaizumi opens his eyes. "Iwa-chan, you missed it," he says cheekily. "The stargazing's over. It's time to go home."

Iwaizumi looks up at Oikawa, groggily at first, then irritably once he's come to his senses. He rubs his eyes, then lets out a loud yawn. "Well that's not my fault, now is it?" he asks.

"You were the one who fell asleep," Oikawa points out.

"And _you_ were the one who decided to schedule this damn thing during the middle of a training camp," Iwaizumi says.

Oikawa smiles, sticking his tongue out to provoke the most anger out of Iwaizumi. _But even so,_ _you still decided to come, didn't you?_

Before Oikawa and Iwaizumi begin their descent back into the city, Oikawa glances up at the sky one last time. Maybe one day, he'll be brave enough to say the words that only he and the stars in the sky lay witness to. He'll tell his true feelings to the person who deserves to hear them most and accept the answer, even if it's the response he doesn't want to hear. But for now, he'll count his blessings and make the most of everything he already been given.

Because if the stars are anything to go by, Iwaizumi will always have him by his side, whether he likes it or not.

**Author's Note:**

> Why does Iwaoi still destroy me as much as it did when I first started watching Haikyuu :/
> 
> [tumblr](http://courtto.tumblr.com/)


End file.
